Archive for May, 2007

Taking Duel into Unreal

Almost every creature in Wonderland belongs to the forces of light or darkness. Belongs is just the descriptive word, since there are no defined headquarters of those forces. History mentions that dark side builds such centers from time to time causing the union of the light ones who destroy it. Light governs all the time and all know it. Even those who chose to fight it and deny, truly fighting only within self, while submerging in misery. Light ones only cannot fall asleep, submerge in resting darkness for too long. This is the story of average human living far from the light center, near the swamps of darkness. Let’s call him Balleno. He is neutral observer, accepting all and never helping creatures of night nor light in a way that would cross their paths. Wonderland, just like the Earth is to great to find one who knows all about it for sure. Maybe there are more creatures like Balleno but it is not known. But because of Balleno, first sentence of this story starts with “almost”.

Since on Earth it is found useless and boring to write about his peaceful existence, story begins when the night came to him. How did she get him, he didn’t know nor recall. He didn’t know who was she, only the spell hit him. Out of nowhere, deep into the ground. It could be the spirit of his witch aunt or one of the black dragonflies from the swamp where he used to go to collect herbs. It could be wanderer who stopped by his fire to rest and listened to his songs. It could be even small bug who only took his songs to its dark master who decided to attack. Balleno knew that no creature of light could cause it, since those never want to own the love, only sharing it and reflecting with own while met on their way.

Situation became serious, his left side, one he considered to represent inner female energy was burning him badly and causing pain all the time. He must have had said something or maybe it was what he wrote that made him open and vulnerable. Some siren nature, whether conscious of it or under the spell of dark master decided, that he won’t be the One anymore and despite his will to set all women free, died before his eyes making him her master. Now she loves him her dark way and wants to help him to be tough man removing his spine, the consciousness he lives for. She wants all his sensitivity for herself so he won’t be able to share it with all world. Spasm of her sick and dark reality were shaking him causing more and more pain. Creature that clings to others to be led, instead of finding wisdom within self could be a vampire bat, leech, catho-woman or mosquito mother but Balleno knew that one he was hit by the siren. Spell was powerful. One of the beautiful one and independent, man eater. He came to this conclusion because no thoughts of her down side that buzzed in his brain gave even the slightest hope on peaceful coexistence.

He knew that she didn’t have to die for him, he never needed her shadow and there is still the chance for her to be free. He liked being observer of both forces, understood day and night and never become a side in their absurd conflict. His house with the garden stood on neutral ground, invisible for enemies thanks to the spell of sphinxes. Therefore none could deprive him from feeling of being part of all, exclude nature form his existence. Even her spell didn’t make him forget it. Knowing that was like the ray of light he could cling to. Selfishness perceived as love that targeted him excluding all the rest he participated in to be complete hurt badly. Her slave mentality required master and if Balleno becomes one, he won’t be free anymore. He knew it as well as that death was his friend. He decided rather to go with death, than to surrender himself to such sick energy of relationship. He had nothing except his own body on this world, nothing he could be deprived of, nothing she would make use of. Even house he lived in belonged to sphinxes staying beyond her reach. Balleno still couldn’t understand how did he became unshielded. Letting her be if she won’t give up her way meant becoming some decomposing protein in short time. He would never kill her, complete as an observer without her anyway.


His companions from the light side would say that he is crazy and should go to the doctor. But for him the disease never started in the physical symptoms, it began in mind so he didn’t care for insurance nor treatment. He believes in healing. What she did to him was accepted spell of dark master, whose servants walked in black robes. They called themselves monks. They hated man as not welcome species and considered swamps to belong to them not to the Earth and Sun. Balleno observed his perfect body in the mirror, way his left side becomes numb and stiff. He didn’t have much time to find out what she wants and how did she got under him. Suspected monks were known from rooting their evil control in sirens in the way, sirens remained unconscious about it. Blaming others for their bad mood, fear, misery and hatred was based on some poison thought monk used to plant in siren’s mind. If he had any doubts about the sex of his enemy than recalling monk’s way made all clear. Man never fight such way, even sorcerers bigger than monks must respect the manhood of their adversaries to be able to protect their own masculinity. Therefore it had to be woman. Victim of monks or own selfishness, too powerful to even know about it.

Balleno always knew how to balance light with darkness and vice versa. Now he was challenged with balancing the greater darkness than he ever knew. Way of condensing light within self to make it great enough was yet still unknown. What did she asked him to believe, before he got paralyzed? Balleno was almost sure that she seemed like the creature of light with tiny mark of monks who poisoned her mind. They still allowed her to keep her beautiful perception of reality, only took away her will of creation replacing it with bringing everything to their profit and ownership. He had to resist her, let her be, bringing all flows of her spell into the did that gives no profit to monks. It’s just a price for being free, for being him, not them. For loving Sun and Earth instead of bowing to dark master.

Now, every voice of the living dark creature, whether on tape or live increased his suffering. Did he committed himself to somebody without knowing about it? Night cannot be fought. It can only be loved and accepted. Balleno found his way. He needed to change himself, to find out what and how. Sphinxes protect him so if night reached for him this time, he knew that it happened for a reason. He tried to meditate to find it all out but felt asleep immediately every time and without visions. She must have had been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, one that is skilled in visions better than him. If he lied to himself it will be the most difficult to find. Having consciousness is the every day battle with those forces who want to use the free one for their fairy tales. He may have got the bullet but he is alive and the battle is not over yet. If only “we” was the truth he’d die for it without a glimpse. “me” can be more selfish and narrow but there was nothing else he could do. He had to wash the mark of monks from her without putting his own instead. Only that would set them both free. She will be free to know, free to make conscious choice, who knows she may even became an observer like him. Balleno became ready. Not knowing anything for sure yet finding peace and love in his heart made him capable to overcome her spell and brought ease to his left side. It is a sure beginning for a successful quest.



My brother lives his own life. I can’t post his picture here without his permission. His simplicity and impulsive character stayed far from intellectual family with social inspirations I myself belong to. Our old habits of sweeping all under the carpet were exceptionally challenged by his simple ways of explaining needs and achieving goods. He did had some problems with law thanks to it, but as an independent soul he never put his mind before his heart. Stamina and flatteries aren’t the best advisors, yet he likes them. Unique ability to put everything upside down used to challenge me through years, being the best teacher of internal peace heavens could ever gift me with. Married at the age of nineteen, driven by necessity to get independent he became even more dependent. I’ve heard that he left his wife and two kids because he couldn’t stand it any longer and works in Germany doing what none else wants to do, cleaning asbestos. Still sending money home. News are as rare as our contacts, replete with competition and distrust. Pals aren’t the best advisors after all. I think about him rarely, there are months without even a thought about his existence. He is more like the chapter in my life than the permanent resident. Adopted in the age of five, remained present until I left for schools at the age of nineteen. I used to be ashamed of him while studying. It is not easy to bring the memories of me, seven year older mind tyrant for silly waif him.

He is the very spark of independence on the wings of Providence. I’d never wake up and see myself without his help after all. Today, he seems to be swept under the carpet within my family in a way that makes forgetting about his existence so easy. Yet, he is always here. Despite where he comes from, despite what he did I can sit, certainly observing my wallet, and be with him. I’ve learned from him how to be tough, so we could find the common language. His logic cannot be followed, his solutions seem stupid for me, yet I have no right to interfere into the realm wise enough to teach me the truth about survival instinct. I have no right to advise him not to be always right. I’m not surprised that he doesn’t trust me today. Avoiding his projection of reality is the best I can help him with, since way his life flows doesn’t allow to forget about remaining danger everywhere. He doesn’t know how to let go so far. I’ve mastered being cautious, so he can just be. If all of survival instinct is fully developed within the five year old wisdom of society, nobody can be blamed. He never physically hurt anyone, always trustful as if not experienced, what makes him only dumb but not evil. I’m glad not to be caught in his victim projection, seeing him rather as a teacher. I’m proud to say that I succeeded to express that I’m not fighting with him nor try to dominate him anymore. He accepted that together with fact, that he will always be my younger brother.

Being the real Men

masai-warrior.jpgI’ve read very inspiring article in monthly review of Department of Eastern Languages and Culture on Budapest University. It was about men and their role in a culture. The poverty of my hemisphere comes with fact, that considering such subject brings immediate, material association with such love, labeling one as homosexual. It’s the fight men aren’t free from around here. They belong to their woman, wives or mothers, who are the guards of family flame equipping their partners with lack of trust and constant fight for material goods. Each men who tries to build bonds with other man is immediately attacked by doubts and superficiality, since as long as their actions don’t bring profits, they are not allowed to like each other. Only socially acceptable and so controllable gates to such friendships lie in sports or parties. Those circumstances lack healthy competition and building respect based on value of man’s virtues. Old man, who in primitive cultures were teachers, more often share their persecution manias unable to acknowledge new political circumstances or dreams of their young ones. Instead they consider that it will be better for them to repeat what they did themselves. They are usually bitter and not satisfied with their lives, yet they try to force it on their descendants. Practice of threatening to make one behave according to certain pattern is common. Break through is not expected and considered lethal shame by all family members and further society. No wonder that new, grown man is built mostly from distrust to other men and perceives society as evil element of the system. Not many survive sane, having enough love inside to build necessary distance. I want to find what makes men the one, before own heart and eyes.

Being called “man” by all kinds of subversive creatures, who are the shadows of themselves is definitely not the goal. Following the mainstream businessman pattern that changes the family into the object necessary to finance from the success career, doesn’t seem happy solution either. I have a neighbor, plumber, who plays ball with his two year old every sunny day. After work, instead of passing on the couch and replacing thoughts with dumb superficiality of TV. Man is humble and peaceful. I know nothing about fatherhood, but he seems to be more of the man to me, than few richer fathers on more responsible posts. Many fathers around is black mated by their wives, who use sexuality as consumption pleasure to deal with, instead of working on some kind of each other satysfying dialogue there, e.g. tantra. Controlling sexuality becomes controling society. Those guys are addicted ones, who never stop wanting and bear shame of their “dirty thoughts” as the losing card in all their home made decisions. In those families women raise men since generations, only strengthening that non natural mutation. Mother has no willy, so biologically speaking she can’t raise the men properly for the same reason man cannot menstruate. That explains the misery our society submerges self in, meanwhile all attempts of creating healthy union between men is immediately jeopardized by afraid of losing their profit women or old man who find themselves insecure remaining beyond such union and unable to control it. Probably that’s why it is worth to build it and challenges to overcome can make it stronger only. In my western opinion, those who don’t feel shame anymore, found their way back to the paradise.

Visiting Vet Emergency Service

I had an uncommon opportunity of observing the work in veterinarian clinic. I saw a gastric lavage of pug. Dog was overweight and there was flatulency in his stomach and intestines. Taking some of this air and liquid out of him made the problem smaller but way to recovery seemed to me to take few more days. Vet clinic is quite an interesting place to be, much better than hospital, probably because it is much more difficult to identify with animal suffering. Folks around me were the “treatment makers” so similarly to the ones in hospital they were immune to patient’s pain in order to work. Way we don’t like dealing with pain, pushing it aside with the use of drugs seems to me as a quite irresponsible part of our mentality. There was one more homeless dog with the signs of exhaustion, brought by police. That one, since without owner, goes to the shelter after the treatment. I’ve learned what does the dog shelter looks like. Quite a prison, some dogs spend their last days in four square meters cage on concrete. I can’t afford adopting a dog without the house with garden, where more of them could be with each other and I’d be free of “having” them. When I’ll have such possibility though, I won’t go for champion breeds but to such shelter to bring dogs from. If I ever will have the house with garden…

Watching cats and other pets waiting for treatment in cages wasn’t necessary to catch the lowest vibes of life that can be a misery. Observing working environment showed me people with healthy relation to biology. One without shame and death denial. I may not be skilled in the craft of treatment, lack knowledge of medicaments but idea of what man can do, and what is left to the nature and animal itself was easy to embrace. Medicus curat, natura sanat. Difference with hospital lied mostly in a fact, that man after that treatment would be connected to the machine monitoring his life, meanwhile pug was left lying on the floor in a place, where he could be glimpsed if breathing from time to time. When I see people who believe doctors like the miracle makers and forget about that simple truth, that it is always up to the organism and its owner’s will of life at the end I think how lost, fragile, incompetent and short seeing society we live in. At the same time, the fact that clinic is the work environment and all there is dependent on income and human economy, made that place cold and washed off mission and wonder. I have no doubt that it is out there. It’s just a question of synchronizing perspectives of eastern and western medicine to discover proper communication.

Rolling Perspective

whirlgalaxy.jpgAfter first day of extended aikido training I find myself in quite unusual condition. It was my first time for four straight hours in dojo. Rolling, squatting, throwing and being thrown. My labyrinth decided to live independent life then and didn’t stop long after leaving dojo either. People I saw on a way back home, were like shabby way stick up on the wall posters. I had to put my head in an angle to see them straight. Sensation took about half an hour before my body got used to the walking state again. Today I’ll have only two hours with the exam at the end.

One word recently walks on my mind. It’s whirl. Akos, Hungarian pop star, had this song “Love is a whirl”. It reminded me about seeing my mother, long time ago, moving in a way that whirl was my first association with it. In Polish language people not only “fall in love” they are also “completely hurled into it”. I also heard this word used few times around, not purely in a hurricane or whirlpool description. Those events turned my attention onto its new meanings. It doesn’t mean anything, but it’s nice to think about it in a way that brings shiny associations.

Death is other, border state of being, that I think about recently. It is good to accept it and not to fear. Thanks to that I don’t feel like a bunny flinching back and forth in a trap anymore. I let it be where its place is and have time to think, see, experience and amaze myself over the wonder of living in the present. I look at the watch million times less than before I’ve discovered such perspective. My time however, became much more rich and intense than it was when I used to count it.

At night I went to the Vistula banks. Last Warsaw’s bridge is about five kilometers south from where I live and the building ban behind the levee left a great area of woods there. Night was foggy and moonlight wasn’t too strong. Space of the river and far away city lights were enough to find my way, even on a darkest paths towards the bank. I sat there about an hour observing that peace and natural life around me. Splashing fish, shadow bat, invisible birds singing, stars on a sky. It was an awesome trip. On the way back, when I stepped out from the woods on the meadow showered with fog reflected in all angles by a moonlight, I had a wonderful sense of space and breathing together with all being. Dear readers, be happy.

Using Words (never perfect description of myself)

mirrorproject-tribe-net.jpgI’d like to define what I do and why I am the way I am. I can do it for a present time only, since I’m not who I was yesterday and describing me in a perfect tense will be possible only after I die. I accept myself entirely, so writing about it doesn’t have to do anything with facing that question. It’s much more about clear description in modern vocabulary. Kind of closure helping with defining what’s next. Way of explaining self and understanding why so many feel uncomfortable or run away once faced. I definitely do not look for forgiveness or compassion, I’ve learned that those who offer such comfort usually get aggravated in a moment while ignored, just because nature had something more interesting to say in that particular moment.

I worship the sun as symbol of universe, the ultimate truth. That makes me exactly the same like any other alive being on that planet, even if makes the difference in a face of civilized man. I know civilized man very well. I was born as one. But I will not give my body to practices that I already know to be fatal for a natural balance of man. Even if they are a part of local common sense. That makes me antisocial and also makes me experience more and in a different perspective than drinking, meat eating, overweight and non exercising majority that keeps itself the right of proclaiming what is normal and to patronize me. I’d like to tell them that I‘m a primitive man, but my roots are in civilization. I can say however that it is not the civilization I approve and I’m finding my ways within it in a stalking way. Since I believe in non violence excluding self defense I can make it without conflict with law. Conflict with society that tends to maintain certain image of what is normal, even if it has nothing to do with human biology of balanced environment, happens though. Christianity considers missionaries good, allows to kill other weaker cults, just like a predator does, while widening hunting area. But predator eats enough to survive without destroying all, who don’t think like him. Therefore I need to protect myself, like any survival instinct does. By Christianity I do not mean the Christ cult, just the way of thinking that exist in that culture, certain algorithm within which man can grow and evolve, never allowed beyond it. Algorithm that allows to enter and help, while not asked for it and forces its way with such method. Such thinking allows intruders to think that they are saviors. Therefore my reason of stalking is the choice of not fighting nor killing in self defense.

The increasing drive to control everything through scientific reasoning is mental but not human anymore. Exemplary, it is considered proper that treatment of cancer starts from medical diagnosis, instead of cleansing reason of disease within self, far earlier. As long as it is a definition of normality I don’t mind being considered weirdo. Mind itself is not the master of creation and I will never believe it again. I’ve understood that man is not the master of creation as I was told to think. Told by whom? By the mental power that decided to define God certain, human way, and organize everything according to that idea. Idea that perish in every flood, same way like in every human while lost in the woods. Once discovering that truth lies beyond the structures of my mind I started to use it only as a tool to look for that truth. I can’t say that I’ve found any ultimate truth. All I’ve found was my heartbeat, knowing not just understanding that trees are breathing, physical relation between me and a tiger and a way birds see and heal aura. I don’t curse the God I was told to believe once. I feel compassion for the delusions his monks must deal with day after day.

Now I’m lucky to know, that there is no tomorrow, only today. I can make plans and cooperate with minds closed in delusional security of organized world, but I’m not forgetting not to trust in what they told themselves, in order to feel safe. Not to lack the communication I’ve become much less talkative than I used to be. Verbal acceptance of their denial would be lie I’d feel uncomfortable with. Staying sane among so many insane ones, who deny right to exist to all what is not them, is not easy. Love makes it easy. Revealing self would make me share the fate of exterminated Indian tribes and all the natural knowledge I have would be used by some Christian master to make money. And that master would be fair in taking care of me, defined by his dream as insane one. I know this structure of mind but I don’t follow it. In that point we agree and are equal. We both won’t give up right to exist and will protect own way of life. Since he is stronger I’m the one who aways must explain, over and over again, that profit of me without respect to my beliefs can happen only over my dead body. That puts me in socially difficult situation because can’t find work easily. Trusting each other according to belief represented around me, means surrendering to truth, certain idea of mind, that has nothing to do with real condition of environment and human itself.

People fear me because they don’t see my business, so they think that I want to cheat them. It is beyond their imagination that my business can be ecological balance and I want it equally for all, like for myself. I may be ignorant in sharing those news in a way that makes them feel secure, but truth is all I’ve got. Privately yes, I’d love to have a normal house and a partner to share love and growth though hobbies with, possibly without facing starvation. But it is not what I’ll give up my beliefs for. I think that comparing self to a Christian boy with a daddy who is Navajo or Aborigine would make sense. Can be explanation why I may not make sense for folks, who don’t see the spirit of the tree only the future chair, meanwhile can have cancer. Explains why my “enough” sounds lazy or suspicious to them. It’s OK that they don’t believe me. I don’t believe their recipes for life nor commercials either. I just can’t become 24 hour white man for them to be believed. I know how to be one at work and in free country it should be enough.

Those who are enslaved to mind usually don’t know that they feel until sick. To feel safe they’re finding all kinds of names. “At the beginning there was a word” is their truth. How can it be the truth, since there is no word without mouth. Problem lies in fact that conversation with mind cannot solve the problem, because mind always can go further in naming and analyzing what to be known, must be experienced. There is a reason why child is not adult until experiencing reproduction. Therefore I respect and learn from warriors that bred in my civilization. Those who have overcame their minds and put their deeds where their beliefs were. I’m not a fan of Adolf H., personally I prefer St. Francis but it is my style, not the pure evaluation of invincibility of both. Living and dying complete makes one free. I ask myself what do I do, since I’m not eco terrorist nor work for environmental government agency either. Why do I go to Zoo and talk with animals instead? Do I learn how to eat carrion and live in the cage? Partially yes. Ecological news about our globe caused, that I need to establish the dialogue that considers more than algorithm of Christian mind. Since I’m white man for a white man, it is easier for me than for a person who was named a member of primitive culture. Maybe I experience all just to teach the methods of experiencing? Before our ignorance will kill our kids through no planet to live on. It may be, but I know nothing about it. All I know is that keeping that important link between existing human mind and human as animal, is all I can do (or be) wholeheartedly in the new stage of environmental consciousness.

There is something wild and primitive in me. All kids have it. I won’t let it go to become entirely civilized. It is the truth, it is the link to the nature and Earth, that keeps me going. How can I be fully in Heaven if I don’t know Earth? I know that my existence causes fear or fight, people prefer what they know, even if it kills them. Some even say that we don’t have the same goals. And if all what they want to do is to destroy self and own environment, than indeed we don’t. I can’t even claim invincibility, we all have backs where eyes are not and one day will be the last one for all. Therefore I know I’m equal with all. I have a right to breathe and to express my disinterest in the emptiness of civilization’s dream. Same way like I can learn and show the methods of finding truth within mind. But I can’t tell the truth for it must be found by each own way. Once its found, all others who have found it are understood. Even without common language, just like the Holy Ghost’s gift, speaking Christian. It is a universal flow I’m talking about. Nothing that sole mind itself, whether fears or tries to explain, can comprehend. As long as mind reigns over an individual, it cannot be found.

Love parallel in Freedom

tamio-okuda-parallel-love.jpgThat week despite the exam for next kyu becomes a bit unemployed. I have one job proposal from the company that translates computer games. They sent me an e-mail that I’m accepted to second stage of recruitment together with four pages to translate for free. No word about income, work conditions just a grace of giving the slave job. Poor folks, they must really suffer while working in such inhuman environment. I wouldn’t mind some cash, I’d love to go sailing next month but without perspectives of income going so far, I have to pass on this proposal now. One won casting would make things flow better in that matter, I made three this week so I won’t give up on my spirit.
My mom comes back from the mountains. She spent more than a month in a cabin named “Solitude”. By the way, the image from the header comes from one of the mountains in that neighborhood. Her return traditionally motivates me to do major cleaning. I like the thinking part of that process. It is as I would clean mind from stupid thoughts at the same time.
My recent emotional experiences based on not having object of love while being in love tore me apart in quite tough way. I’m happy for it. I discovered long time ago that love, once pronounced tangles couple in the sets of dependencies brought not only by own weaknesses but also by social perception of them as separate beings becoming a couple. Keeping it secret is worth living. Especially when not even the object of affection knows about it, what leaves me in a state of believing just the way all flows. I can’t call it entirely peaceful existence but it is worth living. Love is an incredible power.
Unconditional acceptance channeled in individual’s creativity instead of their concentration on relationship maintenance gives real essence to the present and allows to change self and discover the new realms of being every day. It’s as if they’d feed each other with it, meanwhile feeding self at the same time. Two beings not closed in the circle of keeping light to each other can burst with it, towards all and their spiritual ways instead. Death is their friend and life is their chosen style. I should speak for myself only but even than I know what can feel and see.

Declaration of eternal Freedom

People love to define each other. They seem to fear unknown so much, that they are ready to hurt each other, putting the limiting names in order to feel safe. While hated, its not much choice of nicknames however I know people who have even became what they’ve been named. When loved, it’s even worse. What they love about a man doesn’t let him grow beyond it. In both cases it is suffocating experience. I’m surrounded by fat and thin, as a locally defined couple that balances each other through suffocating one body and reigning of one mind. I’d be the thin one if participating in that mutation. But thankfully it makes me vomit. I’ll keep my balance of body and mind until I’m alive. If I won’t find other free and balanced one that shares the body just in time of love making and mind just while creating, let it be so. There is to much wonder in this world to suffer from being one, nothing that cannot be discovered without a word. I can’t stand being put in order of being named, deprived of own secrets, decent and without ability to invent or create any new picture or idea. I lack aggression but not the survival instinct. I simply can’t be commonly sensitive, its too languid for my sensitivity. So I’d like to make certain declaration: Hey folks, know that you know only what I chose to write here and now. I’m nobody’s puppet. I don’t even know myself, where nor who I will be in awhile. So don’t have the delusions that you can know it either. Flow of change will never allow me to stagnate in a defined set of being. I‘m just like you in those matters, even if all you are capable to consider such way are your cells. All grow, whether conscious of it or not. So give up on changing me and take care of yourself. And be happy.

Version with Divine Intervention

crestie-chick.jpgOn my way to the shooting scene, I’ve seen little titmouse chick with mother. It was jumping on the pavement and since I haven’t seen so small ever, I stopped to observe it. After awhile I realized that it fell of the nest and cannot fly. Stressed mother was flying above but I couldn’t figure out where did it fell from. All those thoughts were on the theoretical level, somehow I didn’t think about actual intervention in their business. I did by existence. It occurred that I’m between cat and the chick and in the moment predator decided to attack I moved, more instinctively than actually thinking about what I do. I’m a bit bigger predator than a cat so he gave up on his rights to a chick and I found myself standing in the middle of the street with tit chick on my hand. It was stressed but calmed down after a while. Not his mother though. One can imagine that death from cat’s cloves would be the loudest of her, but it occurred that her baby on human hand can make her shout even louder. Some mothers can kill their kids with  their overcare, thanks to Heavens not mine. I had to ask that loud bird four times where does she lives, before she finally stopped crying and dived into huge poplar nearby. That kind that starts to have branches three meters above the ground. Climbing it with one hand I consider a highlight of the Monday morning, while going to work. When I finally had my palm above first bigger branch chick decided not to leave. It took about a minute of extra acrobacy to take it of my hand. I left reunited family and went further thinking for a moment about how much higher is its survival possibility now. Have I seen that by accident or does the chick meet met me as own divine intervention. Than I saw that butterfly that dreams me, so I shut off my unnecessary thinking before it starts to torment my present and went after my job.

Walking the Path of Freedom and Heart

eagles-flying.jpgMan is born innocent. Living life of joy gets interrupted by instructions, the teachings of fallen ones telling how to live. One day those instructions overcome the innocence and it is the day when the choice is made. Some fear that keeping innerchild puts them in the dangerous position, considering all folks living around. Majority kills the joy within self then and becomes just like those, who have suffocated them with the recipe of perfect life. They chose to live life that is full of problems, suffering, misery and pain. Life, that is an illusion of future plans, full of demons of the past and struggle in everyday existence. Life that lacks its purpose that is a walk towards freedom.

Some don’t kill that innocence walking over the threshold of fear. They can fall into the trap of power then, finding self capable to lead the fearing ones. They become the leaders than, taking their puppets into wars and social transformations. Temptation of becoming the great ones keeps many trapped. But if there is enough insight into own innocence left in them, they realize that power is what keeps them from the freedom. Once letting it go, they step over the threshold of power and become conscious.

Free of the influence of other humans they understand all what happens around them. Back with their childhood innocence they know all the languages and habits. They hear all what concerns them and can make use of it in the way, that keeps them safe or brings their ideal goals. They are free to manipulate all earthly powers they understand, each way they want. They understand where to be to have the flow making them free in bringing to surface any idea that may be their caprice. But once enslaved by own goal they do not move forward, submerged in wonder or invisibility.

Threshold of own ideas is the last one to walk over. It is letting go all, including the childhood’s innocence, last known element of existence. Those who reached that state safely jump into the abyss, become a flow itself. Bodies of those are not to be found in the bottom of precipice. Some disappear, some become eagles flying free, high in the sky. Those who chose to exist then, sing their songs of freedom. About the path they’ve walked. They don’t do that for glory, only because the joy they are filled with pours out such way. People heard it and named as the songs of the warrior. It makes no difference for eagles though. They fly above all the existing paths. Above those walked and those abandoned too. Everyone who didn’t forget to look up to the sky can hear the eagles and learn.


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