Archive for February, 2008

Thoughts about Beauty

rubens-venus-at-mirror.jpgI’ve seen many woman of colour who were fat and sexy but I’ve never seen any white woman who would be fat and sexy at the same time. Not anymore.

I’ve read one Muslim girl’s impression about the liberation of woman in our culture, seen as their enslavement to the icon of certain sexual appeal.

British girls I saw last year in winter were almost naked parading in thick body wears in five degrees snowy rain. It was Friday evening, obligatory party to start the weekend as our western lifestyle requires, when one never heard of better thing to do.

I’ve commented few blogs of Muslim girls and discovered that they were never interested in inspirational partnership, always remaining distant and making me feel like official guest.

Many Polish girls dresses in black and clatters on high heels like the horses. Their touch hurts and they take advantage of partnership. They become your woman even though you never asked for it. It is difficult but possible to remain physically free and single minded, facing such forced relationship.

Many Polish woman suffers publicly and forces their maternity on man. Many men drinks. People tend to own each other instead of living next to each other. Warsaw is my hometown. Except retired women and drunk men I haven’t seen an adult who would not be in a hurry past four years.

When I’m downtown, pressure from hurrying bodies takes over. My stomach and lungs lose half of their volume. I have to clench my fists in the pockets all the time to keep personal space, remain myself, not in the hurry, peaceful minded. I know how to be on time. On a bus people fear my peace first and than yawn around me.

burka.jpgWhat does the Afghan woman thinks about us hidden in her blue burka. How do they recognize each other?

I listened to two girls in waiting room recently. They were awing over some photos of one’s great grandmother. They couldn’t stop to admire her hair. It hasn’t been painted many times since the age of fourteen and she ate normal food not the mass production junk.

The dumb blonde jokes are nothing more than just reflection of how dumb we, as the society are.

I used to be ashamed of my body, now I prefer to be considered vulgar than restraint. Balance lies in not taking seriously not mine problems with happy world perception. I love myself and I’m not ashamed of my body nor it’s functioning. When I feel like healing I sleep, eat, exercise and meditate few days in a row.

Women seem to know man’s biology quite well, why don’t I ever know if she is tensed because she is menstruating?

She told me that my nose is too big but I have a nice chest, legs, butt and lips. I though that she is infinite before that and so was I touching her.

I understand American expression on “I don’t care”, the one – “I don’t give a fu*k” much better now. I’m writing all of it naked.


Very Funny

As long as one laughs at other’s love and affection, one is no more than petrified cynic. After getting capable to laugh at own death, one becomes brave enough to express own love and affection.

Fear’n’Loathing on Earth

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Gen 1:28

I personally believe, that before there was a word it must have had been invented, just as was the writing as well. But even if one simply agrees, that at the beginning there was a word, than “rule” does not mean “exterminate.” Deepak Chopra in his book “How to know God” describes seven stages of knowing divine and fear is the first, most primitive one. Today many, while getting in touch with nature, fear it, as they do not know that nature within themselves. The nature often is the source of fear in modern American cinematography. As society becomes plastic, fear becomes stronger component of its creation or rather should I logically say – destruction. Recognizing fear without being driven by it is individual’s challenge to rule over own nature instead of being ruled by it.

Polish Joke

American Politics.

How crazy are You?

koyaanisqatsi1.jpgConsidering the needs of a human being, we can divide them into physical, intellectual and spiritual, wherever on the globe we start such considerations. Physical needs such as sleep, eat, procreation are fulfilled pretty much everywhere, however the quality is a question. Question one cannot be answered participating only in average state, media education. All the chemistry that food mass production is based on, adding the rush and lack of consumption culture, doesn’t seem to keep the healthy profile. Sports are competitive, there are trainings instead of exercise philosophies, terms like effortlessness and harmony are not to be found. Art of creating and enjoying things, once called craftsmanship, is replaced by mass production. Whole branches of industry become Earth disconnected, serving only abstraction-like valued human needs. But even today, there can be found visible creativity heavy to control from above. Enough that those jobs are dishonoured, exhausting and never paid well.
Today job’s adds: production 1,5; restaurant business 1,5; motorisation 0,5; building industry 1,5; security 0,5; house care 0,5; education 0,5.

Intellectual needs are those that allow one to grow and develop. Thought share allows to perceive the world and self, allows the self development, creativity and communication. Common fear of expressing love to each other puts the social blockade on it, so common, that majority defines lack of love in society as normal. Feelings are placed as tool to exchange the provided needs. Needs defined according to the personality model, that lacks the natural valuation and exchange of thoughts. Competitive lack of trust to fellow human being is required. Lacking balance with the simple need to talk honestly with each other without the external pressure becomes a skill. Intellectual worker is required to betray other human being for some abstract idea. That makes one better paid and makes feel bad enough never to ask for more.
Today job’s adds: office jobs 2; pharmacy 0,5; accountancy 1; logistics 2; marketing 0,5; immobile 0,3; customer service 0,5; sales 2,5; engineering 0,5.

Structure of civilisation provides enough for fulfilment of basic needs but its development on other levels stays much lower. Citizen is accompanied by whether guilt or responsibility based feeling of failure in life. Possibility of change exists only in never existing in the present “future kingdom of heaven” Lack of satisfaction on the primary or subliminal level with always more to do and never enough done, expresses how people feel about their wholeness. Extra hours are profiled to be more important than family dinner, fashionable vacation more influential than retreat. Hunger for love overpowers ability to share, leading to exhaust all open sources in rushed pathological consumption. Never healed fear causes lack of sharing. Giving up everything for money as the only visible goal in modern society is paid very well and costs detachment from own feelings and becoming the machine that serves Civilisation Operational System without respect to even neutral personal dreams.
Today’s job adds: work abroad 1,5; media 0,3; managers 0,3; other 0,5; seeking job 0,5; adult entertainment 0,5.

powaqqatsi.gifTwenty pages of job adds, about 350 adds per page, has been read thoroughly like every Monday. I’d love to work normally. Renting rooms, writing articles, stunt in some film productions plus translating from time to time is enough to live simply without travel, going out, retirement, new pants. Having plenty of time, while not writing own books is cool for physical exercise or spiritual activities. Social pressure of being parasite is a burden that requires constant fight for my right to live ecologically. Well, I’m probably the first Pole from Warsaw’s suburb block community who had chosen the first tax threshold in the name of simple living not because I’m not better than that. Hopefully not only one without TV washed brain. Living with other humans should be based on compromise, but so far the rest is not interested in compromising their non ecological, human centric philosophy. I got over the choice of many to accept such civilisation and call it normal, while me crazy. Their choices, their lives. I understand the fear of not answering self on the question “how crazy am I to accept such life”. I’ve answered it for myself. I learn not to feel compassion for them in the way it hurts them. My choice is changing and not participating in present, social definition of normality. I enjoy what I do. Physically I can help only myself, intellectually I can write this blog, spiritually I can live and evolve without raping my native beliefs. Speaking human language there is the environment with me, the strongest of all employers and with all depending on it.
Jobs that do not require the increase of pollution, creative, respective to holistic development of man and lacking the interrogation of the “philosophy of more” that allows one to enjoy own job without rush and with being honestly paid for it – none.

Mix of Perspectives

Hum of the city calls overpowering and petrifying such silence, where one can hear own thoughts.


triptych.jpgJesus does belong to the great spiritual guides of mankind. It is very difficult to divide his message from what has been done with it. Especially when surrounded by many, who keep the monopoly on salvation only for those who walk under his name, excluding all the goodwill people born somewhere else. It reminds me the Old Testament believers who are the involuntary subjects of cruel god, what becomes their excuse whenever it comes to the issue of not developing own consciousness. Forgiving them but not forgetting, that even though two thousand years old – still New Testament – changes such perspective of relationship between man and god into full of understanding, loving partnership, becomes the challenge for many Christian born spiritual seekers.

Logical Insurance

Knowing that it is an absurd, whatever you do as a civilized man, protects you from the bitter realization of it after getting old.

Singing in the Rain

I’m watching simple catholic folks, average Poles everyday. They believe in priest on Sunday and in television rest of the week. Couples around me. She is never satisfied building her lack of satisfaction on lack of appreciation to whatever he had already done. Bringing mountain home can’t  be enough because he could bring the mountain range.  He is like the guilt trapped  saviour, sorry for his testicles to exist yet bound to it as his only remaining pride of being better than her, used with that brain condition to fulfil other’s expectations like beast of burden. The idea of ancient spirit called “divide and conquer” still wins with modern “unite and lead” here. I used to wonder who makes profit on keeping those two sharing the same bed apart all their lives long. Not anymore. If they chose to dream hell, let it be. All I can do is to be invisible episode in their dream, while keeping my own thoughts in resisting their canons on normality and keeping myself in heaven of united free spirit, open mind and healthy body. I like arts for their capability to share heaven with others without fight. I don’t believe I’m alone, however I maybe alone not afraid on the block.

Peaceful Aikido

I took part in martial arts show last autumn. I remember it quiet and peaceful. In this compilation, I fly by here and there in wide black pants, eventually hit with the sword. This is someone’s  perspective on the peaceful art of self defence, represented by aikido…


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